Magical thinking is really common in children, especially younger kids. Magical thinking is the belief that our private thoughts and behaviors influence what happens in the outside world. Have you ever knocked on wood to keep something bad from happening? Or worn your “lucky shirt” on game day to help your team win? If so, you’ve experienced magical thinking. Explain That Thinking Isn’t The Same as Doing As weird as they seem, most people have them sometimes and they are totally normal. These thoughts can be really weird, or scary, or even be about things we’d never want to do in real life. The only problem is, the brain isn’t always right! Sometimes, the more we try to ignore these bad thoughts, the more our brain pushes the thoughts back. Try explaining this to your child: “Our brains are always thinking, and always looking for ways to keep us safe.” Giving us these “bad thoughts” is sort of like the brain showing us a flashing danger sign. Reducing fear and shame not only helps your child feel better it can also reduce her intrusive thoughts over time. When you tell children that many people have these bad thoughts and they aren’t alone, you alleviate their shame. Teaching children about intrusive thoughts takes away some of their power. Things always feel scarier when we don’t understand them. The thoughts can become a big source of shame, especially because they might be about taboo subjects. Because nobody ever talks about them, a child may assume she’s the only one who gets intrusive thoughts. They’re just a part of being human! As common as they are, we don’t tend to bring up intrusive thoughts during polite conversation. So common, in fact, that one study found that 94% of people experience them. Intrusive thoughts can be disturbing, but they’re also really, really common. Let Your Child Know Her “Bad Thoughts” Are Normal (and Not So Bad) ![]() Next, let’s break down each one to see why it helps and how you can practice it at home. These steps can go a long way toward helping kids handle disturbing thoughts with less worry and stress. Help your child name and accept intrusive thoughts Teach the difference between thinking and doing Normalize intrusive thoughts for your child ![]() We’ll go over each of these in more depth in a minute, but here are 3 ways you can help: By responding calmly and compassionately, you can help your child self-soothe and take the power away from overly dark or negative thoughts. Your child looks to you as a guide to decide how she should think and feel about things, so your responses carry a lot of weight. You hold a powerful role in your child’s life. There’s a lot you can do as a parent to support a child struggling with intrusive thoughts. How Can I Help My Child With Intrusive Thoughts? Children also sometimes experience these thoughts after a trauma as a part of PTSD. This leads to more anxiety, which increases the likelihood that these bothersome thoughts will pop up again.Īn occasional intrusive thought is no problem, but kids with anxiety or OCD may get them so often that it feels debilitating. Instead, children may end up focusing on the thought and worrying about it. This makes it more difficult to brush the thoughts aside. It can be harder for kids to distinguish between a useful thought and a useless one. When most of us have these seemingly random thoughts, we can shrug them off and quickly forget about them. They’re just one of the many weird things our brains and bodies do in an effort to keep us safe. Many people-if not most people-will have intrusive thoughts at some point in their lives. If you don’t have time to read the whole post, the gist is that intrusive thoughts are normal, and not always a problem. ![]() I also talk about what mental health problems might make kids more prone to experiencing them. I break down what intrusive thoughts are in detail, with real-life examples. ![]() If you’re curious to learn more about intrusive thought and why they happen, check out last month’s blog post. Why Does My Child Have These Negative Thoughts? Keep reading to learn what you can do at home to help your child with the normal, common, but still very stressful phenomenon of intrusive thoughts. While any child can have intrusive thoughts, they’re more common in children with anxiety, OCD, or a history of trauma. Intrusive thoughts are like unwanted guests in our minds, barging in without being invited to spoil the party. Dark, bad, scary, negative, weird…whatever words you or your child use to describe intrusive thoughts, the effects are the same.
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